For Grandparents, Mothers, Fathers and Anyone Else Who Loves a Child

If you watch cop shows you have undoubtedly run across the stereotypical prostitute.  Whether male or female, they seem like hardened, mouthy, do-anything-for-money people.  Okay, it may be true in some cases, because after all, they are playing a part.  The person playing the part of a hooker today, may be playing the girl or boy next door tomorrow.  It’s pretend, right?

What about in real life?  Take a good look at that child you love.  Can you see them playing the role of a prostitute?  I have five grandchildren and I can’t.  You look at their faces and all you see is innocence.

I’m writing this to say that most of the real life prostitutes once had someone looking at them and seeing that same innocence.  Or, in too many cases, they should have.

I remember the day the picture of a child running away as a kid with a bandanna filled with their most treasured items tied on the end of a stick like a miniature hobo.  The child would walk around the block, go to a favorite hiding place, or visit a friend for a period of time, before deciding running away wasn’t what it was cracked up to be.

Today it’s different.  Today it’s downright frightening.  Why?  Well, because danger is far more accessible and insidious.  A child running away today can be found far more quickly by someone out to hurt them, then their loving parents can find them.  Within hours that child can be hundreds of miles from home.

Unfortunately, some children are running away from more serious problems than being forced to clean their room or going to bed with no TV.  Today, children are trying to run from trouble and find themselves in deeper trouble.

I won’t even discuss the last group of children who are taken, not runaways.  These stories are all too horrible to think about.

Today on Katie Couric, it was impossible not to think about any of those children, when the subject was sex trafficking.  It is not just happening to children, but young men and women, too.  But some of those men and women were children when it started.

There has been particular attention being given to this right now with the Super Bowl less than a week away.  Last week a friend told me she was appalled about the number of humans that were expected to be sold for sex at the Super Bowl this year.  I confess to my doubt as I checked the web site she mentioned, and what I found was that it is true, except that perhaps some of the estimates are inaccurate.

The thing is, if the child you love were one of the smaller number of people than reported, being sold for sex, would you care how many people are involved?  Would it even matter if it were only one child if it were your child?  Does it matter if it is only one child if it is another person’s child?

I could write on and on about this, but what difference would it make?  I’m just one person.  However, after watching Katie I came to realize that is how we start the fight.  One person informing others, they in turn informing more people, until one person is able to do something to save the life of one of these people in bondage.  What to look for was explained by experts on the show.  You need only watch it to learn.

I ask you to again look at those children you love and force yourself to see them with empty, hopeless eyes, scared, with no one to turn to, ready to be turned over to a stranger.  Then I ask you to watch Katie here and learn more on this subject.

Shoulder to Shoulder

I have often used information acquired from the book "Love and Respect," by Dr.Emerson Eggeriches as a basis for some of my articles.  I’m going to do it once again in today’s article.  However, I can attest to the fact, in this case I have practiced what he preaches.

You see, there is a reference he uses about “shoulder to shoulder” relationships.  These are most often found in male relationships.  Men working together or the way the often socialize.  Sometimes they don’t need to say much at all.  It is the fact that they are sharing in a situation that is the bond, not so much the verbal communication.

While on vacation a few years ago I put this to the test – along with a few of Eggeriches other recommendations.  Before I tell you the results, I have to give you a brief rundown of our usual vacations.

Ordinarily I would sit down prior to the vacation and scan all the literature I can and make note of all the things I’d like to do.  I confess I still did fold over a few pages hoping my husband would look at them prior to leaving for South Carolina. – He did not.  – Then upon arrival I’d pick up more literature to see what other happenings may not have been printed in my other literature.  From those I add to my list the things I think we should do and if he makes no comments after looking at it – grunts don’t count – I start scheduling as many things as I can.

This trip I gave my husband the list of some of the things I wanted to do and asked him to plan our week.  His idea of planning was to put an “OK” by everything he was interested in doing.  That cut the list down quite a bit.

I got the point that his idea of a vacation was more to rest and relax, not sightsee and shop.  So, I scheduled only the things he had okayed.  That left us with a great deal of time for R & R. 

We did a lot of lazing on the beach and by the pool.  There was another part of the “Shoulder to Shoulder” concept that does not come as easily to most women – silence.  It wasn’t that I couldn’t talk.  It was that I wanted to find the peace of just being together and enjoying one another’s company.

Wow!  It was a surprising experience.  Difficult, but surprising.  Occasionally my husband would reach over and grasp my hand.  Or, run his fingers gently up and down my inner arm – something that I find especially relaxing.  And before you know it, he even initiated conversation.  I’m not even sure what we talked about, but we didn’t talk a lot about home or work.  Well, it was almost impossible not to talk about it at all with everything we had going on at the time, but it was very limited.

Along with all the R & R and the three things we scheduled we ended up doing some sightseeing and shopping.  Ironic isn’t it?  The things I had thought he didn’t want to do, were the things he ended up suggesting.

Our vacation turned out to be extremely satisfying.   We both hope to return to Hilton Head Island again someday.  It wasn’t just the fact it was a lovely place, it was the joy we shared being there shoulder to shoulder.

ONE PERSON CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE

“One person can make a difference; but together we can make a change.”  No one famous made this quote.  In fact, someone very infamous did -- Me.

Yes, I was working on fire safety programs and trying to inspire other members of the fire service to jump on board and help with those programs. 

I said it again while working on a community outreach ministry at my previous church; as I, again, was trying to motivate people to volunteer to help with our ministry.

I burned out on both those very worthwhile causes.  To the point I was not only exhausted but physically ill.

So, is it any wonder why I am filled with panic when I hear the words, “Would you be willing to. . .” or, “Do you think you could. . .”

If followed by a request for me to help with a project, or take over running something, I can’t help but wonder if it is just one more time where I will jump in and try to make a difference, only to find myself standing alone?  It’s too exhausting!

I’m not even great at running things, so I know these poor people are getting to the bottom of the barrel of helpers.  I hate to say, “No,” and how would it look if I just turned and ran.

I often wonder what the problem is.  My mother used to ask me, why it had to be me.  “Let someone else do it,” she would often say.  My honest reply would be, “Because no one else will.”

So what is going on?  Are their less people or way too many jobs to volunteer for?  Maybe because we have so many people who need service of some kind, there are too many jobs. Each of us could have tons of opportunity to volunteer; church, school, coaching, nursing homes, scouting, hunger relief programs, etc., etc., etc..

There is an old adage that says, “If you want something done, ask a busy person.”  That is very true.  However, as I mentioned above, remember people can burn out. I did, and it was no fun.

Instead, maybe everyone should take a moment to assess their lives to determine whether they could find a little time to give to a cause.  Not just any cause either.  After they figure out how much time they have to give, they could look around the community for programs that fit into their time frame or interest.

Still, if one loves excitement and danger, and sees the sign at a local volunteer fire company looking for help, they may want to keep driving by if they only have a couple hours a month to give.  On the other hand, if someone has the flexibility in their time to give and is physically able, they may be a good candidate for the fire company position.

The person with only a few hours to give a month might be perfect to help distribute food at a pantry, or reading to residents of a nursing home.  Maybe less excitement and drama, but no less fulfilling.

The bottom line is that: one person can make a difference.  But together we can make a change in the lives of people in our community