PRAYERS AND APOLOGIES

I don’t know how many of you say prayers at night. For me it is the time to summarize my day and apologize for any bloopers that may have offended God that day. Believe me, I have too many of those.

Last night in the process of my prayers I ended up getting myself into quite a conundrum. I started out okay. I always praise God for His greatness and forgiveness. I went through a long list of things I am thankful for.

As always, I prayed about how thankful I was that he sent His Son to be my Savior. It was at this point I started rambling. I was trying to put myself in God’s position of giving His Son to die for me. How difficult a thing it would be to do for anyone, but especially for a person so undeserving as me. Then multiply that by the fact he did it for every undeserving being there ever was.

Okay, as if that wasn’t enough, my mind took me to all the negative things going on in the world. Add to that all the bad things that have taken place in history. It was very depressing and sad thinking the God I love had to watch all of it.

Now the way my brain works, I started thinking, and rambling on about how God knows all, even the future, and I thought about how horrible it must be for Him to know not only what bad things we have done and are doing, but also the things still undone, that will be done.

By this time, I was in my thoughts so deep I had stopped praying for myself and found myself praying for God. I was asking for Him to have the strength to endure all that He must have on His shoulders. I was asking that He have comfort and peace, though how He could was beyond my perception.
Then it hit me. God is all powerful. There is nothing – NOTHING – He can’t do. His Greatness is beyond our ability to understand. As are His strength and power.

At that point my prayer took a real swing. I mean, was I insulting God by praying for Him? Were my thoughts of empathy suggesting He needed anything? Could my genuine caring prayer seem more like I was putting myself above God, trying to give Him what I thought He needed?

Yikes! I was, as they say, digging a hole and ready to bury myself. I was nearly in a state of panic.

Then I remembered, God knows my heart. He knows I was only looking at His situation through the eyes of what I knew. I know I could not carry everything He does on His shoulders. It is unimaginable to me. Because I am human.

But He is God. He can handle anything. Nothing is too large for my God.

I suspect He was smiling as He listened to my prayer last night. He understood what I was trying to say and I’m sure He took to offense. I still care very much for my Creator. I am saddened He has done so much and gotten so little in return. I am thankful He still loves me and others through all our faux paus of life. And He will never be anything but All Mighty.