Perception is Anything You Let it Be

“Perception is Reality”, Tom Peters wrote in one of his many self-help books.  I believe that.  I’ve taught that to others.  However, I also believe that perception is anything you let it be.  And unless it is reality you have the power to change it.

That may seem a twist on words, but think about it.  What you believe is very real to you.  That does not necessarily make it so.  The mind can play many tricks on you.  The person standing outside your window watching you may not really be a threat.  I’ve jumped many times prepared to scream, only to laugh when I realized the face I saw was my own reflection looking back at me.

That does not mean we shouldn’t ere on the side of caution.  Certainly prepare to run if a shadow seems like a person jumping out to grab you. –  It just might be. –   I would never tell anyone to go through life double checking every seeming threat before reacting.  I am just saying double check before you run home, lock the doors and hide under the bed.  Otherwise you might have a very long night hiding from your own shadow.

There are also perceptions that are even more dangerous to us.  It is those perceptions we may hold about our family, friends and even ourselves.  Is there someone who you feel is out to sabotage your relationship with another?  Or, could it be that the reality is they feel less than you and have the need to make themselves look better?  Or, even more likely the reality might be that you are dealing with your own insecurities?

I chose to write about this right before the Thanksgiving holiday because there seems to be so much stress for people over the holidays.  All those past differences seem to come back to haunt us as we sit face to face around the table.  And insignificant pet peeves seem to inflate into a monumental flaws that are so annoying they drive us crazy. Sometimes those things will eventually make us laugh. We all could use that, like in this clip.

We need to put it all into perspective and try to change our reality by looking at things with a different perception.  Put a different slant on things.

Oh yes, some things are easier to do than others.  My mother-in-law, dear woman that she was, was like the tortoise and I the hare in the kitchen.  One time I gave her the task of putting the leftover butter into a container.  She scraped and she smoothed for quite a long time, while I was waiting to put dishes into the cabinet where she was standing.  When I started to get irritated wanting to tell her to just slap the butter into the container and put a lid on it, I stopped and looked at it from what might have been her perception.  She has an artistic flare and probably wanted the butter to be just right for the next time we used it.  Her work of art was a gift to us.

Okay, that is a much easier thing to get over than perhaps facing the sister who stole your boyfriend when you were in high school, who you still feel wants everything that is yours.  Maybe it is reality, but you can perceive it as a threat to you, or as pity for her because what you have you intend to keep.  The way you react to that situation should change with the way you perceive it.

Arm yourself with the skills to change your perception.   Below you will find some books I hope will help.  You may not be able to obtain them to help you through Thanksgiving, but they could help make the next holiday even brighter.