Some of my readers already know that my husband, Ken, and I
just returned from our bargain vacation. We have sat through many timeshare
presentations in our time; some for a free meal, some for a weekend stay at a
vacation spot, some for gift certificates and still some for all the above.
This, however, was our first presentation that would reward us with a cruise,
free car rental, meals and a four stay at a hotel in Fort Lauderdale.
Of course, trips like this one, aren’t free. We had to pay
for the joy of our first-time cruise to and from the Bahamas with a one day
visit on the island. It was a modest amount. It gets even better; we added
several hundred dollars more to stay longer on the island.
They said, overnight stays in the Bahamas require passports.
The day trip did not. At least that was how I understood it. So once our deal
was confirmed we planned on getting our passports. To make a long story short,
we had no idea how expensive or involved the process was. By the time the trip
approached we were scrambling to get them on time. Ken’s was being processed
while I was still waiting for a legal birth certificate. Funny, I went 63 years
and didn’t know my birth certificate wasn’t legal.
To make a long story, longer, by this time we were a month
away from our trip. We received a call that our ship was dry-docked. There
would have to be changes to our trip. To compensate we got to keep our
prolonged cruise with all things promised for another time within the next
year. We would still receive their original offer of one day on the island by
booking us on another ship.
Sounded good to me. I always try to be positive. Why ask for
a refund when we were that close? Right? Besides, I told the woman, we would
save a lot by not having to get my passport. I told her I could put that money
toward the trip. The woman agreed.
That was that. Our modified trip was still on, with our
dream trip still there anytime we wanted, it within the next year. All we had
to do was wait for our itinerary and book our airfare.
Airfare came first since we called and were told the
itinerary would be sent within three weeks of the trip. We had seen a good
offer for airfare and didn’t want to wait to book it.
Three weeks passed with no itinerary. I remember calling the
day after Christmas to find out where it was. The representative told me it was
sent on December 16. We were asked to call back the following Friday if we did
not receive it.
Slow mail? I think not. We still did not receive it, so we
called back that Friday, relieved when the representative had us write down all
the information we needed. We were set for a great vacation.
The flight went well and we arrived at Fort Lauderdale
airport on time. The first problem occurred when we went for our rental car. A
long, long line greeted us. We took the kiosk check in, but there were
problems. The machine would not take our credit card. Though the car rental was
included we still had to pay taxes and fees. But unfortunately they didn’t tell us we had
to pay for the car up front and we’d be reimbursed after our trip.
Ah, the price of a timeshare presentation. We learned if we
didn’t attend the presentation they would not pay as promised. Okay, we
understood that. However, we had only so much money for this trip. Worse, they
didn’t accept either of the credit cards we had money on, because our name and numbers
were not embossed on those cards.
Sorry, there is no way to make this nightmare shorter.
We finally rented a car ourselves and used nearly half the
money we had saved for our trip. We’d make it work. Somehow. This was a low
budget trip.
When we got to the timeshare visitor’s check-in we learned I
had misunderstood the part about the passport. I could get on the ship without
the passport, but not without a birth certificate. That was at home. When we
finally got the actual printed itinerary we saw that information noted there. I
guess the representative who read our instructions thought we knew that. We are
not seasoned travelers.
We vowed to make the most of the trip. They promised they
would pay the extra days for our room if we went through the timeshare
presentation as promised. After all, it was only a 90 minute presentation. They
corrected us on that misconception, they were providing lunch which added an
extra 30 minutes. So, what’s two hours in the scheme of things?
The presentation was typical timeshare. Longer than two
hours and it was a hard sale. The worst part was telling them first, that we
couldn’t afford the buy, and second, that we didn’t know how many more years I’d
be able to travel due to my health issues. This was something I didn’t want to
discuss, but we were desperate to end the attack of salesmen from every front.
Finally, after nearly four hours of torment, we were able to
leave, knowing we had earned every bit of the rest of our vacation. We were
worn but no physical scars from the experience. We had lived to tell about it,
which is what I’m doing.
I can honestly say the only timeshare presentation we ever
actually ever enjoyed was one where we made up identities for ourselves and our
guests. I am, after all, a writer. Thankfully, I will spare you that sordid
story of that fun day.
We left vowing we’d never, ever sit through another
timeshare presentation. Nope. Nada. Never!
The rest of the week was wonderful, but after everything we
went through we decided we’d ask for a refund for the “real” trip we’d planned.
We were not going to sit through another timeshare presentation to earn that
trip, too.
Yesterday morning we did just that. It was almost too easy.
We made our request in writing and are waiting to hear back from them, and
praying they will return our money.
However, there is a lesson to be learned. While you can get
some bargain vacations by sitting through a high pressure timeshare
presentation, there are other ways to have an affordable vacation. One is to
get on the Internet often and search for them, making certain there is no fine
print about sitting through a 90/120 or 4 hour presentation.
Another way is to watch commercials on television. We usually
fast forward or mute those. But last night we actually caught one for a seven
day six night cruise for less than we paid for our bargain cruise. Okay, we
didn’t catch the part about where the cruise started or went, maybe nowhere.
Maybe it just took you out onto the wide, blue ocean where you could enjoy
everything the ship had to offer.
Not that we’d know what a ship has to offer.
But maybe. . . someday.
Novels by Pam Garlick:


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