I’m not certain why I chose that title. Maybe a subliminal message from the recent Star Trek commercials. What I do know is that there is a place closer than outer space, a place deep inside our lives that may need some exploring.
I came to this conclusion after over a year battling depression and self-dissatisfaction. I am not where I’d thought I’d be in this phase of my life. I am a writer who loves “Happily Ever After,” endings. However, Happily Ever After, can’t be created just because you write it on a piece of paper. No, it takes hard work, and often, no matter how hard we try, it may not be attainable.
Today, what I hope to achieve is contentment and peace. To do that I felt the need to take a deep look inside myself and find out why these things seem so distant from my life.
First, I have to throw away the fairy tale dream I’d anticipated for my later years. It’s only value is for my readers, many of whom are searching for much the same thing as I am searching. It is for them, I am again putting my thoughts to paper and sharing them. It is my hope I can help myself and others as I search for the contentment and peace I long.
I realized along the beginning of my search that a person is not only influenced by their past, but also the future and the dreams they hold close to their heart. And, they are influenced by the day to day happenings in their life and the world.
Here is one hard lesson learned. I needed to cut back on the amount of that world I let into my own life. Like many, I am a creature of habit, and for many years I have watched the news show Good Morning America. It has so much more than news, and I find much valuable information right from my living room chair.
Sadly, though, I also have my lunch with the news at noon. Then later when Ken comes home, he wants to see what is happening in the world; and because I want to spend time with him, I watch the news again.
This is news overdosing. For me it was like taking a tiny little bit of arsenic a day. Do you know this is how women in the past maintained their stylish, pale, sickly complexion? Of course, a little too much and you can guess what happened.
I believe the outside world and all the horrors going on have been a big influence on my depression. The negative things of the world were pushing in and slowly pushing out the positive things in my life. I very nearly lost my ability to think positive at all.
Another even bigger influence on me is my family. I include all people I love and care about. Because I care so deeply, I didn’t realize how subtly other people’s pain can seep into my own psyche and begin to go from picking at my heartstrings to ripping a deepening hole into my heart. Yes, it is possible to care too much.
My solution to the subjects above was to cut back on the news – not ignoring it completely – just not hearing it over and over again. Next, I practically eliminated social media. It was hard, because I cared about my friends, and enjoyed the positive posts I read. Now, I limit the negativity.
I don’t want to sound casual, but I have begun to pray for all those who are struggling with illness, grief, financial woes, and more. The blanket prayer helps ease my conscience that I may forget someone important to me. This has helped me to exit social media as soon as I have read enough negativity. I admit to skipping any posts that have certain words jump out; like: Trump, ISIS, protests, war, etc.. I don’t have to name them. You just have to spend a brief time on social media to find them.
Another thing I needed to do was take a look at my relationships with the people I love. In Part Two of this short series will be dedicated to this subject.
You may find the following books on related subjects helpful:
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